Get Your Act Together Martha

So, this isn't a cooking blog, and it never will be. But sometimes, just sometimes, I gotta share something. A recipe, or a link or an amazing looking food, or a brag about how awesome I made some sort of edible, you know just something.


*Your Hollandaise is going to be darker than this one pictured. Thanks, Paprika!

This is a little bit of the how awesome, and little bit of the recipe. Basically, I wanted to make Hollandaise sauce (not a hard thing to accomplish) but a) most restaurants Hollandaise is shitty and b) all the recipes online are complete crap. ALL.OF.THEM. Not a one of them called for any for of spices, beyond one said 'cayenne' and another said 'white pepper'. I looked at about 15 recipes, and they all listed off the same ingredients: Egg yolks, butter, lemon juice, salt, pepper. Well folks, I'm here to tell you that is straight butter sauce you are drinking there. And though adding spices doesn't decrease the butter, it does makes it SEEM so much more like a real sauce.

So here you are, what I consider a real Hollandaise sauce. And, yes there are going to be no real measurements, but its spices, just add a little, and then add more. duh.

Ingredients: 
*4 egg yolks
*1.5 sticks of butter (salted)
*2-3 tablespoons lemon juice
*A few shakes of your favorite hot sauce (please don't let your favorite be Tabasco. Even Texas Pete is pushing it. Go out on a limb, there are so many better ones!)
*Black Pepper
*Paprika
*Onion Powder
*1 Teaspoon Ground Mustard

Directions:
Melt butter in a sauce pan, and set aside to cool down just a tad bit
In a bowl separate out 4 egg yolks. DON'T WASTE THEM WHITES. Make yourself a side omelette. You know, a little something to smack that Hollandaise on AS SOON AS IT'S FINISHED.
Using an immersion blender, blend up those egg yolks. Slowly add in that lukewarm butter, and blend blend blend.
Add in your lemon juice, and spices. Start with just a few shakes of spice each, immersion, and then taste. Then most likely add more. Esp. in the Paprika field. A good Hollandaise has a shit ton of paprika. It just does. The only spice I would make sure you are careful about is the mustard. 1 tsp. should do ya. But then again, this is your sauce, do as you please.

...And that is it. Still a simple as shit recipe, but for some reason all the other sites want you to simply drink butter soup, which this time, I'm just not down with.