My kind of Karaoke Competition

...is one where you don't have to experience the singing. Ever. At this point, I just assume you all have seen the Epic Lip-Sync off battles that Jimmy Fallon has hosted on his talk show. Oh, somehow you haven't? Well then, go ahead and watch the videos below first, the come back to me, and we'll continue this conversation:

 We first saw it happen when Actor John Krasinski (ME-OW) visited:

 The next time we got to enjoy the stylings of Joseph Gordon Levitt and Stephen Merchant:

Okay, Now that you are back with me, are these competitions (and men) not what dreams are made of? It got me thinking though...If I had to pick three songs to partake in an epic lip sync battle, what would they be? What would my strategy entail? John Krasinski NAILED it with all three of his songs, in my opinion, where as JGL lost me with 'Tiny Dancer' but WON THE SHOW with 'Super Bass' as his second choice.

I thought long and hard (on and off for 4 hours while driving back from Asheville this morning) and finally decided upon the set below. And yes, yes, of COURSE I'll explain why I decided each was a obvious wonderful choice. I will say though, that this was way harder than I expected. I easily narrowed it down to a top 10, but from there I went back and forth a good bit. I provided a playlist of the top 10, all the same.

1)'Always' - Bon Jovi: I knew I needed a throw back, and a throw back power ballad can never go wrong. I decided on this one because it isn't as popular, but I've known every word to this song since I was in 3rd grade. Just a little girl (...no matter what my physical appearance suggested), on the school swing set, belting this song out with her best friend during recess. #truthballad

2)'B.O.B.' -Outkast: I believe it was the summer before entering my freshman year of college that my BFF4L and I decided we were going to learn every word to this ridiculous song. I got as far as the first verse, and really, for this competition that is enough. It seems you need to have a token 'rap' to throw in the mix, and where Ol' Dirty Bastard 'Got Your Money' was a close second, the ridiculous speed of this rap won me over, so I could show off my mad skillZ.

3)'Only Girl (In the World) - Rihanna: As far as the 'pop' standards go, this would be where I had the hardest time. I ruled out a few classics, feeling that I needed something a little newer (classics being before the year 2005, like all classics are classified). This song stood out over the few that were left simply because I pictured myself dropping to my knees during the chorus, begging the world to love me. It didn't take much to picture this, mind you, as I have done it at more than a few dance parties. Knee dropping emotion would also be why I saved it as my finale. Solid move, right?

Runners Up: 
'Call Your Girlfriend' -Robyn; 'P.Y.T. -Michael Jackson; 'Countdown' -Beyonce; 'Got Your Money' -O.D.B; 'Brand New Key' -Melanie; 'Don't Take It Personal' -Monica; 'Free Your Mind' -En Vogue.
 

So, what would be in your top three? I want at LEAST 15 minutes of thought put into this people. No whilly nilly work going on here.

Shares: Oh the Giggles

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Alvin Greene Wins South Carolina Primary
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

Shares: It just felt right...

Slackers in one of my favorite movies, and sometimes this song just makes me happy.

Shares: NaderPaul

THIS INTERVIEW made me laygh, a lot. Mostly because it was just so natural. I already adore Paul Rudd, but this made me want to see Jon Hamm in more things as well...

Shares: Why Do I have Such a Morbid Sense of Humor?

Funnies: A classic. I just wish I could find the video...

Dina Dexter(Pink): What's up, chickenheads! First of all, I want to give a shout-out to all the girls I work with outside the 8th Ave. entrance to the Port Authority Bus Terminal! I love you all! Except for Nisha - I know you ate my fish sandwich, bitch! And when I find you, I'm gonna cut you up! [ exits ]

Funnies: Two people I love, a lot.

Funnies: How I Start And End My Day.

Every Day.

(I do want to clarify, the Turk section of the video...just sayin')

Shares: I actually have a few, very unrelated videos, I want to post...

Bon Iver - For Emma, For Ever Ago - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

Funnies: Once again, the Onion makes my day.

Study: Children Exposed To Pornography May Expect Sex To Be Enjoyable

Funnies: Oh Sarah!

Funnies: AmeriCorps VISTA Job Ad (In a realistic world)

"Seeking all commitment phobes with a severe case of wanderlust and varying levels of completely unspecific skills they garnered in a great university who don't feel a job is worth it, no matter the pay, unless there is passion behind it."

Funnies: Replete with Songbirds and a Cute Deer

In light of looking recently on Craigslist for a few things, I thought I would bring back and post my favorite Craigslist Posting of all time, brought to my by the Lovely Camboy. Please read and enjoy. And if you know this person, tell him..or her...I would like to marry them this very instant.

$1 Room for ONE DOLLAR in bright, clean apartment (West Village)

I am looking for someone to rent a spare bedroom in my spacious 2 br apartment. The rent is only $1 per month. While this may seem a glorious opportunity to live in the desirable West Village and still have enough money to pay off your gambling debts, you must read carefully, as this situation is not suitable for all.

First, you must call me Pierre on Tuesdays, unless that Tuesday falls on an even-numbered date, in which case you must call me Pip. If the Tuesday is both even-numbered and a holiday, you must also paint me a watercolor of a woodland scene, replete with songbirds and a cute deer peeking out from the dense brush.

Second, you must join me for nightly sing-alongs during which you will accompany on acoustic guitar while wearing a macrame vest and a Guatemalan hat, both of which you must supply yourself. Currently on the playlist: Angie by the Rolling Stones in the key of F-sharp. After six months, we may add a second song to the list. You may not riff, yodel, or otherwise embellish the vocal line in any way. You may NOT simultaneously play the harmonica or knock on the guitar for percussive effect. Light refreshments will be served, at your expense.You must feed my parakeets daily. Since I do not own any parakeets, you must obtain several in order that you may feed them. They enjoy sunflower seeds and pine nuts in the exact ratio of 2 to 1 (by nut count, not weight). One parakeet must be named Yellowy and have yellow or yellow-tinged plumage. Hi, Yellowy! Yellowy must already be named Yellowy; you may NOT simply purchase a parakeet and start calling it by that name. And don't think I won't know the difference.Moreover, you must read all the ingredients in my foodstuffs to me daily, for all victuals in my kitchen, even for foods I do not plan to eat that day. If you have amusing anectodes about any particular ingredient, you may share them, as long as they do not exceed 500 words.Every night, if there are at least three (3) stars visible in the sky (NOT counting any visible planets), you must prepare a mustard plaster and a camphor poultice, which you will then place outside my bedroom door. You will scratch gently at the door to alert me to their presence and then retreat to your chambers. If I open the door and catch sight of you, I will cast you out into the streets and alleys to meet your fate among the wretched of the city.If you bring guests home, they must provide photo I.D., samples of their blood, urine, and saliva, and a small, green salad. They must eat the salad while I run the analyses on their fluids. The following diseases are permissable: cholera, typhus, and rabies. The following ailments are NOT: plague, rickets, and scurvy. If your guest is found to have scurvy, they may remain in the apartment as long as they have also brought a small piece of silver for me. You must attend my morning lecture at 7:00 a.m. sharp. This morning's lecture, for example, explored the connection between the parliamentary system of government prevalent in European societies and my cataracts. Sometimes I will have a guest speaker. Last month, Henry Kissinger posited the existence of elves who come out at night and smoke the rest of your pot so when you wake up in the morning you can't believe you don't have any pot left 'cause you coulda sworn you had at least one more joint when you went to bed. He received a standing ovation for his presentation as well as the National Award for Excellence in Lectures.

If you are interested in this living situation, please write an essay detailing your contributions to society. I will be grading you on content as well as style. Spelling counts!

Funnies: Shave the baby (Revised)

Recently came across this...it took me a bit to decide which one was my favorite, but I think that that the second photo wins. I want to buy each and every one of these toys for my children someday...or other peoples children. That would be good too.

In the same line, I came across this AMAZING Play Doh campaign. I am partly repulsed, somewhat intrigued, but mostly in awe.

Funnies: What a Crazy Random Happenstance!

Minute 5:06. Priceless.

Funnies: WHAT HEATHENS

"I get so hungry sometimes. Especially after hours and hours of unprotected sex."

...I love The Onion.

Funnies: Because it is free on Hulu....

And everyone should watch every episode. Also you all should buy me the DVD set to own. Really, it's about time.

Funnies: This Quote

...more specifically the bolded part. But you needed some context, I assumed.

"I consider myself to be a Feminist in the sense that I've always thought, "Yeah, ladies are just as good as dudes, right? I mean, why not?" I never was one to shout about it, though, mostly because I've never been a very politically correct person. It's pretty hard to be politically correct and hilarious. I'd much rather be funny than someone who pretends to respect everyone."

and

"Bonnaroo actually did a very good job of keeping the two things separate. There was a tiny bit of spillover from the music, but they had a great big air-conditioned tent for the comedians which worked well. If they invite us back, I’d love to go, although next time I’m hoping we can stay for more than a few hours. The reason we had to come and go so quickly is that we’re still in production on our TV show and there just wasn’t time to hang out and enjoy the amazing bands they had: Bruce Springsteen, Public Enemy, Beastie Boys, Band of Horses. They also had Phish! You will note I separated Phish from the list of amazing acts. Actually, I’ve been making fun of Phish a lot but the truth is, I honestly don’t even know their music. My mockery is coming entirely from a place of ignorance based on their genre: jam band. I’ve never been fan of free form musical experimentation because I am not a fan of being bored. " -Michael Ian Black