Jauntaroo DREAM JOB

Yesterday morning I woke up to a text message from my kickass friend Tyler that pointed me to THIS ARTICLE.  As I read, I was astounded. This has to be a hoax, no way this is like, for realz. Here I was reading, word for word, my dream job description.

"Help wanted: An "enthusiastic" traveler to fly around the globe for a year, all expenses paid, earning $100,000 in salary for blogging about it – and for volunteering to leave each destination “a little better than when you found it.”

The company in question? Jauntaroo.com  Don't worry, I hadn't heard of them either. I immediately hoped on over to THEIR site and took a look. To my amazement, only 72 people had applied for this job. YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME. I mean, just 72!? Have we really gotten THAT lazy? Well, So I HAD to apply. It was that simple. I go to see the requirements and it is simply to make a 60 second video on why I would be good for the position. Okay. One) I've never worked with video software in my life Two) What the hell am I going to say, that someone hasn't already? Isn't that always the hard part? So I take a look at the videos that have already been posted.

Now, I don't mean this mean or anything but.... really? I mean, YES there are people who have traveled a shit ton. and YES there are some very qualified post college students who have journalism degrees. But YES they also all seem like snore fests. I'M SERIOUS. so boring. How can this be? So I look at more videos. More snores. I mean, I don't even want to watch a full minute of these people, how am I supposed to be interested in the travel they are going to represent for Jauntaroo?

So I buckle down. A video. I can do this. i start rifling through all the old video footage I have on my hard drive. Spoiler: It isn't a lot. I decide I def. don't want to do a video of me just sitting there talking. I also don't want a video showing far away places, because, duh. that is what travel is. But you know what else travel is that no one has seemed to care to show? FUN. Frickin' dirty, stinky, messy, laugh inducing fun.

Okay, so I have to silly video. That explains me pretty well...But what else? Do they need to also know the serious stuff? The fact that I never wear pants? or that I obsessively take photos of my feet in different locations, b/c loafers and tiles are cool? You know, the hard hitting, get me the job, type stuff. I decide they do. And this, this is what I end with...

Now, even though you just watched the video here, can I PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE implore you to click the link below, and simply click 'Like' at the top of the page? You don't have to watch the video again, I promise. You just have to tell the world you like me, and you think I'd be a cool person to travel around the globe. OR maybe you just want to get rid of me for a while, well here's your chance for a WHOLE YEAR. So DO IT.

VOTE HERE. OH GOD PLEASE.

Then, pick up your smart phone (you have one don't lie) and hit the 'like' button on that link again. Then your tablet. Then your girlfriends tablet. Then your cats. and I BEG YOU, tomorrow, REPEAT. You never have to watch my face again in that video, you simply have to take a minute out of your day, vote on all your electronic devices, and then be on your merry way. Think of the children.